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We’re Doomed

Today is Friday. Normally, that would be cause for celebration. The weekend is nigh; the promise of fun and frivolity is sure to bring a smile to even the most dour among  us. So it gives me no pleasure at all to be the first to tell you that we’re all going to die.

What—no time to read? Let me just summarize for you:

“Parts of the planet will become uninhabitable.”

“Devastating streams of particles from the sun, galactic cosmic rays, and enhanced ultraviolet B rays from a radiation-damaged ozone layer, to name just a few of the invisible forces that could harm or kill living creatures.”

“The consequences for life on Earth could be ruinous.”

“It will have its way with us, no matter what we do. Our task is to figure out how to make it hurt as little as possible.”

“It’s time to wake up to the dangers and start preparing.”

I don’t know about y’all, but I think I’m gonna hit up Costco this weekend and stock up on canned goods.



01.29.2018, 2:21pm
by Andrew Juarez


The only pole you can trust is the Festivus pole (not a racial slur).


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