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Because I was a dork long before it was cool, acute schadenfreude is really the only possible response to a story like this.

It seems that some Webster University “student athletes” are upset that (gasp!) a couple members of the school’s national championship-winning chess team are featured on a billboard in athletic garb. As if that weren’t offensive enough, the billboard reads “Our top recruits are chess players.”

Oh, the humanity!

“Webster directly compared the chess team, which does not compete as a part of the athletics program, to the rest of the athletes on campus,” whined WU basketball player Kevin Miller, who then went on to complain—apparently without irony—about “the lack of facilities our athletics department has for student athletes and the other students who want to come in and have a good workout.” Miller also tweeted his displeasure: “I train all year 2 be able to run up and down a basketball court to represent my school. Not just move wooden pieces.”

By the way, Webster’s chess team is coached by Susan Polgar. Yes, that Susan Polgar.

Here’s the thing: the billboard is funny. It’s memorable. It’s self-deprecating. And it shows that the school attracts some really smart people—which is, you know, what colleges ought to be doing, right? Most important, though, is that the billboard works, a concept apparently too complex for Webster athletes to grasp.



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