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“A great civilization is not conquered from without,” wrote Will and Ariel Durant in Caesar and Christ, the third of their eleven-volume The Story of Civilization, “until it has destroyed itself from within.” Just something to think about as you ponder the following:

There’s a live-action Pokémon movie in theaters – and audiences like it.

One of those Silicon Valley bros just got $1.6 in seed money to bring Liquid Death – a brand of plain water served in tallboy cans – to market. Early reports indicate that it, um, tastes like water.

We live in an era in which this is considered newsworthy. (Also, can you imagine reading that headline 15 years ago?)

But all of this pales in comparison to an act of barbarism committed just this morning by someone – I won’t say who – in our very own office:

Those are cake pops, which, according to contributor “Bakerella” at, are “bite-sized balls made of crumbled cake mixed with frosting and covered in candy coating.” That’s right: “bite-sized.” As in, “small enough to be eaten in one mouthful.” As in, “no need to cut into smaller portions on accounta it’s already the exact size it needs to be to provide the optimum flavor experience.”

Madness, folks. Sheer madness.



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