Just got back from a glorious two-week vacation, during which time the missus and I drove more than 3,000 miles, camped, hiked, flew to Italy for our son’s wedding, had In-N-Out for breakfast, watched the sun set over the Pacific Ocean, and made pilgrimages to a couple of filming sites—one for the 1960s Batman TV show, the other for the film Stand By Me.
What can I say? We take our time off very seriously.
It feels good to be home, though—back to a regular schedule and a normal diet and walks with the dog and the usual chores and responsibilities. Plus, after spending even a little time in a foreign country (more on that later this week), it’s…comforting to know that some things back home will never change.
Like, say, mysterious cattle mutilations. No entry wounds, no bullets, no major lightning storms in the area, no outward signs of a struggle, no scattered hoof prints, no strangulation marks, no blood. “The bulls, said a rancher, “look like they simply fell over and died”—except for the missing tongues and genitalia, of course.
My money’s on aliens (obviously), but I wouldn’t rule out murderous cults—in which case it might be a good idea to resurrect the Satanic Panic. You know, just in case.
Either way, it sure is good to be home.