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Monday Miscellany

“The only way to write is well,” said A. J.  Liebling, “and how you do it is your own damn business.” He’s right, of course. Which means Stanley Fish is wrong. Joseph Epstein explains.

The Washington Post celebrates the 25th anniversary of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off with a list of 25 Bueller-related contributions to pop culture.

Germany has Bach; Austria has Mozart, Britain has Elgar. And Norway? Why, black metal, of course.

Finally, Kuriositas takes a look at John Heartfield’s anti-Nazi photomontages.

Right-Handers of the World, Unite!

A new study confirms what I’ve long suspected: left-handed people are no more likely to be gifted than their right-handed counterparts. One could even go so far as to suggest that left-handedness is an indication of cognitive impairment.

But I won’t.

Recession? What Recession?

Sometimes, an idea is so simple and obvious it seems like it can’t possibly work. Take…er, “breastaurants.”

“Why do regular customers come in three times or more a month?” asks the CEO of one particular franchise (called, with characteristic understatement, Twin Peaks). “What more could a guy ask for: great food, sports, beer, and a cute girl to look at. We don’t go real deep.”

New Music

Eddie Vedder’s new album of ukulele songs—called, um, Ukulele Songs—is 35 minutes of awesome. No, really. Check it out:

[audio:https://helveticka.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/03-Without-You.mp3|titles=03 Without You]

A Necessary Corrective

“Hone in on.”

Not only did I hear this phrase—twice—yesterday, I also saw it in print. (Granted, it was the Inlander, but still.) The problem is, it’s incorrect.

To hone is to sharpen. You hone knives, lawnmower blades, and battleaxes. You also hone your skills at something—like wielding that newly sharpened battleaxe.

To home in on something is to move toward a target. (The center of a target is called “home.”)

Alas, it’s not nearly as simple as all that. My copy of the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (fourth edition) approves of the use of hone in when referring to advancing toward a target or goal; likewise when directing one’s attention or focus.

But when you read on, you discover that hone in is, in fact, nothing more than an “alteration” of home in. In other words, enough ill-informed people have mistakenly uttered “hone in on…” that the editors of my favorite dictionary  have effectively waved the white flag of surrender.

Yes, yes, I know that language evolves. But evolution—whether of species or of words—is a function of necessity, not of laziness or ignorance. In what possible way is hone in an improvement over home in? What gaping hole in our language does it fill?

Yeah. That’s what I thought.

Typographic Lounge Furniture

Yeah, I like typography—almost as much as I enjoy sitting down. But that doesn’t necessarily mean I want to combine the two, even with the “coordinating floor lamps [that] cover more than 20 punctuation marks.”

Design Blog has the details.

Quote of the Week

From Louis Menand’s article on the value of higher education in the June 6 issue of The New Yorker:

“…students and their parents are overvaluing a commodity for which there are cheap and plentiful substitutes. The sticker price at Princeton or Stanford, including room and board, is upward of fifty thousand dollars a year. Public colleges are much less expensive—the average tuition is $7,605—and there are also many less selective private colleges where you can get a good education, and a lot more faculty face time, without having to spend every minute of high school sucking up to your teachers and reformatting your résumé. Education is about personal and intellectual growth, not about winning some race to the top.”

Read the entire article here.

Put On Your Party Hats Again

We’ve been doing a lot of celebrating here at the last word. First, it was the news that a Tintin movie will be released this coming December. Then, it was the 100th anniversary of the death of Mahler, followed by Bob Dylan‘s 70th birthday.

But we’re certainly not going to let the birthday of the late Miles Davis pass without mention. Rather than celebrate with something from Kind of Blue or In a Silent Way, however—groundbreaking albums each, but a little obvious, don’t you think?—I thought it might be nice to share “Autumn Leaves” from Cannonball Adderley’s 1958 album Somethin’ Else.

I was just a kid when I first heard this tune. But Miles’s entrance on the head, halfway through the 24th bar, changed me forever. Check it out:

[audio:https://helveticka.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/01-Autumn-Leaves.mp3|titles=01 Autumn Leaves]

In Spokane, Even the Weather’s a Little Dull

Wanna avoid a natural disaster? Don’t watch “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” Apart from that, it seems your best bet is living in the northwest.

Five of the eight U.S. metro areas with the lowest risk from weather disasters and earthquakes are in Washington State; Spokane ranks sixth safest overall. So we’ve got that going for us. Which is nice.

Now, if only we had a real record store.

Happy Birthday, Bob

In honor of Bob Dylan’s 70th birthday today, I humbly submit my choices for the top five Dylan albums of all time:

  1. Blood on the Tracks
  2. The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan
  3. Blonde on Blonde
  4. Highway 61 Revisited
  5. Slow Train Coming

A word of explanation: Blood on the Tracks is one of the best albums by anyone ever, so it’s pretty much a gimme for this list. Numbers 2–4 aren’t exactly controversial, either.

As for Slow Train Coming, well, what can I say? Purists tend to decry it’s spiritual themes, but the song “When He Returns” is one of the most powerful—and gutsy—in Dylan’s entire oeuvre.

[audio:https://helveticka.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/When-He-Returns.mp3|titles=When He Returns]

Another Reason to Hate the “Me” Decade

Phil Kirkland, illus. for Psychology Today (1970)

If 70s weirdness is your thing, pour yourself a tequila sunrise, throw a little Ray Stevens on the stereo, and head on over to 50 Watts for a look at some Phil Kirkland illustrations. You’re welcome.

The End Is Near

As reported earlier here at the last word, Saturday is Judgment Day. Scoff if you will, but based on this story—in which we read that some chucklehead paid nearly $4 million for a crappy photograph—the end of the world can’t be too far off.

In Memoriam Gustav Mahler

One hundred years ago today, the composer Gustav Mahler died at the Loew Sanatorium in Vienna—just weeks after being diagnosed with bacterial endocarditis.

Strangely enough, there’s a Spokane connection: Mahler’s widow, Alma, married Walter Gropius in 1915; after founding the Bauhaus school in Weimar, Germany, Gropius chaired the architecture department at Harvard University’s Graduate School of Design. While there, he taught Royal McClure, Bill Trogdon, and Bruce Walker—each of whom returned to Spokane and made an indelible mark on the city’s architecture.

You can read all about it here.

In the meantime, enjoy “Die zwei blauen Augen von meinem Schatz,” the fourth movement of Mahler’s Songs of a Wayfarer (mezzo-soprano Frederica von Stade with the London Philharmonic Orchestra, conducted by Andrew Davis):

[audio:https://helveticka.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/08-Die-zwei-blauen-Augen-von-meinem-Schatz.mp3|titles=08 Die zwei blauen Augen von meinem Schatz]

Great Snakes!

It’s happening. It’s really, really happening. Please, Mr. Spielberg—don’t ruin this for me.

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