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This Day in History

Lord Byron to Thomas Moore, January 28, 1817

I tremble for the ‘magnificence’, which you attribute to the new Childe Harold. I am glad you like it; it is a fine indistinct piece of poetical desolation, and my favourite. I was half mad during the time of its composition, between metaphysics, mountains, lakes, love unextinguishable, thoughts unutterable, and the nightmare of my own delinquencies. I should, many a good day, have blown my brains out, but for the recollection that it would have given pleasure to my mother-in-law; and, even then, if I could have been certain to haunt her – but I won’t dwell upon these trifling family matters.

Stop! Grammar Time!

Remember articles? They’re basically adjectives, which means they modify nouns.

English has only three articles—a, an, and the. The first two are called indefinite articles, because they’re non-specific. The, on the other hand, is a definite article, because it refers to a particular noun. So when Bob Marley wrote “I Shot the Sheriff,” he wasn’t referring to a random law enforcement officer. He had someone specific in mind. If he’d written “I Shot a Sheriff,” well…it would have been a completely different song.

So how do you know whether to use a or an? Depends on what comes next. Use an if the word that comes next begins with a vowel sound; use a if the word that comes next begins with a consonant sound. An egg, for instance, but a broken egg. See, it doesn’t matter that both a and an modify egg; what matters is the word that immediately follows the article.

Notice I wrote vowel and consonant “sound”? Words like hour begin with a silent consonant but are pronounced with a vowel sound. So: an hour. But it’s a habit, a house, a horse, etc. The reverse is also true: university is one of a handful of words that begin with a vowel but are pronounced with a consonant sound. The same is true for abbreviations: an FBI agent, a UN peacekeeping operation…you get the idea.

If you’re stuck, try saying it out loud. Your ears will know the difference.

Poetry Break

LET CITIES SUBSIDE TO THEIR NAMES
Osip Mandelstam

Let cities subside to their names,
Brief meanings that flare in the ear:
Washington, London, Moscow, Rome:
Existence is our home, and is here.

Let presidents rule what they can.
Let preachers have their narrow door.
Houses and altars hallowed of man
Are houses and altars, no more.

(1914)

translated by Christian Wiman

Tuneage

I’ve not touched on music for a while, mostly because my survey of the best of 2014—which, let’s be honest, was a tour de force—turned out to be a little more exhaustive than usual. In short, it was high time to write about something else.

But it’s been, what…a month now? And I have some new music to share. Or, rather, new-to-me music: The Handsome Family’s Singing Bones, from 2003. Fans of HBO’s True Detective will recognize “Far from Any Road” as the show’s theme song, but the entire album is definitely worth checking out.

So Long, Cheddar Chad

A decade ago I worked at a downtown Spokane ad agency whose culture was, shall we say, unforgiving. Not a day passed without at least one account executive in tears—or the entire creative department brought to its knees. Sometimes both. And I was there for over three years.

If it hadn’t been for “Cheddar Chad” Rattray and the hot dogs he peddled from a cart across the street, I’m not sure I would have made it as long as I did. But it wasn’t just my standing order—Italian sausage, sweet-hot mustard, grilled onions—that offered relief. It was the opportunity to spend even just a couple of minutes in the company of a truly decent human being; to talk about everything from jazz to the weather to the structural integrity of Costco’s hot dog buns; to marvel together at the weirdness of life and the inanities of the advertising business.

Chad died yesterday morning. It’s a little odd, I suppose, to reflect on the impact of a hot dog vendor on one’s life. But Chad wasn’t just any hot dog vendor. Requiescat in pace.

Quote of the Day

“There are painters who transform the sun into a yellow spot, but there are others who, thanks to their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.”   Pablo Picasso

Miscellany Redux

More odds and ends today, but this time from the worlds of art, architecture, and poetry. So, you know…no Bigfoot.

MoMA has decided to auction a Monet from its collection to “benefit the [museum’s] acquisition fund.” It’s expected to fetch $13.8 million. But as Jerry Saltz points out, “the market is now so distorted and tilted toward contemporary art that $14 million raised from the auction of a Monet is less than the cost of a large work by a contemporary art star like Gerhard Richter, Jeff Koons, Christopher Wool, Peter Doig, and many others.”

When even starchitect Frank Gehry admits that “98% of everything that is built and designed today is pure sh*t,” one wonders what’s become of his profession. It’s not just Gehry, either. In a recent New York Times column, establishment architect Steven Bingler wrote that, “for too long, our profession has flatly dismissed the general public’s take on our work, even as we talk about making that work more relevant with worthy ideas like sustainability, smart growth and ‘resilience planning.’”

I’m old enough to have taken both high school and college courses in which memorization was a requirement. As a result, I can still recite the Gettysburg Address and Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116—among other, less useful things. These days, though, teachers have somehow come to the conclusion that memorization = not learning, and seem to go out their way to discourage it. Mike Chasar explains why we should consider returning to the days when “poetry memorization was freighted with unusual importance.”

Miscellany

Does a spectral being roam the halls of Pocatello High School? Why yes—yes, it does.

“Real Estate Drone Spots Bigfoot, Raises Property Value”

Ever have one of those Ouija board sessions that just goes on and on and on? Rob Schwarz has some advice on how to “break that connection with the other side.”

This would be hilarious if it weren’t a little sad. Please, please read the entire thread.

And finally, take a gander at Dietmar Eckell’s photography before you leave.

Changing Minds, One Person at a Time

It turns out that carefully planned, creatively developed, and strategically executed image campaigns actually work. Who’d a-thunk it? (Why, yes—that’s helveticka’s handiwork he’s referring to. How’d you know?)

Word of the Day

ukase (noun) An authoritative order or decree; an edict.

Incensed at the lack of deference paid him by the firm’s proles, CK issued a ukase, effective immediately: Obeisance is mandatory, and shall be expressed by a curtsy (women), a bow (men), or simple genuflection (questioning).

The Retro Look Never Gets Old

helveticka

When Pressworks asked us to help them with their letterpress promotion, we were delighted. For years, I’ve been wanting to do a project that takes advantage of this old-school printing technique. A trip to their letterpress shop was like stepping back in time. The black steel presses, spinning fly wheels, ink rollers, mechanical movements when the paper meets ink, and the beautiful patina of wood type. It’s like looking under the hood of a classic car. It’s all there to see. Straightforward. Simple.

For Type Geeks Only

Hey, it turns out that Helvetica isn’t the only font with an interesting story. (Who knew?) The New York Public Library’s Meredith Mann takes a look at the making of Times New Roman:

The Times tested its type thoroughly. In 1926, the British Medical Research Council had published a Report on the Legibility of Print, and the new typeface followed its recommendations. Before final approval, test pages were also submitted to a “distinguished ophthalmic authority,” leading The Times to announce that its typeface had “the approval of the most eminent medical opinion.” The newspaper recognized that scientific analysis was well and good, but an equally important test was actually reading it. Members of the team practiced reading for long periods of time, under both natural and artificial light. After test upon test and proof upon proof, the final design was approved, and “The Times New Roman” was born.

What the world needs now…

…is English, sweet English.

Forget Mandarin Chinese. From “the unwritten tongue of Iron Age tribes in Denmark” two thousand years ago to a language spoken by one in every three people on the planet today, English is now “so deeply entrenched in print, education and media that switching to anything else would entail an enormous effort.”

So it looks like English is becoming the scrappy little language that could.

I remember doing some research for a paper in college—yes, it was a while ago, but not that far back—during which I learned that English was spoken by a quarter of the world’s population. So: from one in four to one in three in a single generation. Still think the high school foreign language requirement is a good idea?

And…we’re back.

Happy 2015, everyone. Let’s get right down to business, shall we?

From a review of The Selected Letters of Willa Cather:

Despite, or rather because of, her own commitment to the craft of writing, Cather thought it was “sheer nonsense to teach ‘Creative Writing’ in colleges,” especially since colleges seemed to be failing in the more fundamental task of teaching their students “to write passably clear and correct English”—perhaps because the professors themselves could not “write passably clear and correct English.”

Not a lot has changed, obviously.

Forget about academic writing. For some truly beautiful prose, check out Cather’s 1918 novel My Ántonia.

The Year in Music, Part 6

So. We’ve picked the best albums of 2014 in 10 different genres. Which means that, if your Christmas shopping list includes gifts for a music lover or two, you really have no excuse to not shower them with awesomeness. I’ve done all the work for you.

Except…there’s someone we haven’t mentioned yet: Aram Bajakian, who released three (!) albums in 2014.

albums2014_6

Dálava is a modern take on Moravian folk songs with vocalist Julia Ulehla; Psychomagia is a genre-bending collection of John Zorn tunes by the band Abraxas, and there were flowers also in hell—Bajakian’s second solo effort—is a master class on guitar technique. Each was a finalist in its respective genre; each is completely different from the others. Bajakian is hands-down the most exciting musical discovery I made in 2014, and my pick for artist of the year.

Merry Christmas, everyone. See y’all in 2015.

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