I suppose it’s cheating, but I always skip ahead on stuff like this—because the number-one pick will tell me how seriously to take the entire list. I won’t spoil it for you, but suffice to say I didn’t read any more.
Behold the Beefchain!
Yeah yeah, this is cool and all, but why on Earth did they go with “narluga”? That sounds nasty. Why not “belwhal”?
Maybe we’re not doomed after all.
And then there’s this: