Science proves what we’ve known all along—that old people really do smell. Related: mathematicians have solved the Guinness sinking bubbles conundrum.
It’s raining sheep! Hallelujah! / It’s raining sheep! Ameeeeennnnn!
Good news: aliens probably don’t want to eat us after all.
And…
There’s gotta be a joke in here somewhere: a man goes to the hospital for a kidney stone and finds out he’s a woman.