McSweeney’s Honest College Rejection Letter is brilliant:
You should also know that our committee did not fall for your attempts to look “humble” or “well-rounded.” Volunteering in developing countries is nice, but truly generous individuals volunteer to improve their local communities, while truly wealthy families buy a third-world country for their child to gentrify.
And:
…we know that your minimum-wage job did not teach you “patience, teamwork and leadership.” No one learns anything from minimum-wage jobs except how much they hate people and that they shouldn’t have majored in political science.
(While you’re there, be sure to check out the equally hilarious What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You.)
by Linda Witherup