If the entries in our Stupidest Song Ever contest are any indicator, the last word has precisely three readers. The good news is, that’s two more than CK figured.
So who won?
If you’ll recall, the challenge was to come up with a stupider song than “We Built this City,” a steaming pile of earnest, self-aware lyrics compounded by the cheesiest of mid-1980s instrumentation and a horrifyingly bad video.
Susanna came up with Shakira’s “Whenever, Wherever”—a promising suggestion. She also put to bed my denunciation of “ask” as a noun. But then she went too far: trying to curry favor with a compliment. the last word can’t be bought, Susanna.
Spimbi tried the shotgun approach: “I’m too Sexy” by Drop Dead Fred, “Hearbeat” by Don Johnson, “She’s Like the Wind” by Patrick Swayze, and Eddie Murphy’s stomach-churning “Party All the Time.” She then administered the coup de grace: Kris Kardashian’s “I Love My Friends.” (Really, folks, you have to see it to believe it.) These are all stupid songs, to be sure. But are they stupider than “We Built this City”?
No, that honor would have to go to “I’m a Gummy Bear (The Gummy Bear Song)” by Gummibär. In fact, it’s not even close.
That makes mcw3 our winner! Come on by AMD corporate headquarters (we’re on the 81st floor) and claim your prize!
by Susanna