In an effort to “establish, once and for all, the absolute best fast food items in America” the fine folks over at The Ringer have thoughtfully provided a list of the top 50. And while they’re mostly correct, I think it’s important that we right a couple of obvious wrongs.
First of all, this is America, not France. A hamburger of some sort should top any list of the best fast food. As much as I love Chick-Fil-A waffle fries, their position at no. 1 tells me the Ringer team isn’t taking this job all that seriously.
Second, McDonald’s fries have a half-life measured in nano-seconds. Sure, they’re delicious at first—but as they cool, they begin to take on a chalky texture, and after about a minute they’re are all but inedible. Their no. 3 ranking can only mean that those who participated in the survey were drunk.
As for the rest, it’s…pretty spot-on, though I’d rank both the Egg McMuffin and KFC chicken higher and remove Chipotle entirely from consideration (seems a bit shi shi for this list). And where’s my beloved ButterBurger?
In the same spirit, we conducted a totally scientific study here at helveticka world headquarters to determine, “once and for all,” the best local hamburger joint. By “local” we mean anything worth driving to; by “hamburger” we mean pretty much anything but the hoity-toity $15 offerings featured in a recent Spokesman-Review article.
Here are the results:
Zip’s
Sporty’s
Wolffy’s
Burger Royal
Ron’s
Maybe next week we’ll tackle the region’s best breakfast.
