It’s the most wonderful time of the year, sure, but it’s awfully hard to enjoy it when so many people have so many incorrect opinions about Christmas. So, as a public service, I’ve provided some guidance in a few important areas. It’s our hope here at helveticka world headquarters that, armed with the following information, your holiday will be “the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny [redacted] Kaye.”
Top 5 Christmas Movies of All Time
Die Hard
Christmas Vacation
It’s a Wonderful Life
White Christmas
Elf
5 Most Delicious Christmas Treats
stollen
shortbread
gingerbread
sugar cookies
fudge
5 Best Adult Beverages to Consume (in Moderation) on Christmas
glögg
single malt Scotch, neat
Trinidad sour
hot buttered rum
Irish coffee
5 Most Thoughtful Presents to Give Aaron (from lowest to highest price)
5 Worst Christmas Songs Ever
“Do They Know It’s Christmas” Band Aid
“Wonderful Christmastime” Paul McCartney
“Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” John & Yoko / The Plastic Ono Band
“Last Christmas” Wham!
anything by Mariah Carey or Celine Dion
