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The Mind Boggles

A while back we noted a study that found that, in every nationally televised ad during the first 11 months of 2010, those featuring celebrity endorsements performed either below average or equal to it. Sort of counter-intuitive, right?

It gets stranger.

The Wall Street Journal reported yesterday that Abercrombie & Fitch has offered to pay cast members of “Jersey Shore” not to wear its product—because “[the] association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans,” according to a statement. This from a company not exactly known for its taste and decorum.

Now if someone will just pay Lady Gaga to stay home.

Quote(s) of the Week

When I read this…

“Sometimes, when people think ‘outside the box’ the result is something interesting and revolutionary. And sometimes all they do is remind you why there was a box in the first place.” Rob Long, writer and producer

I was reminded of this:

“The most important lesson of the avant-garde was to be free of all pre-conceived ideas, particularly those of the avant-garde.” Valentin Silvestrov, pianist and composer

The Designer’s Mother

Today is my mother’s 80th birthday. As a number of family members and friends gathered to celebrate over the weekend, we were reminded how a life well-lived can impact so many people. So, in honor of this day, I say “Thank you” to my mom. While there are countless personal reasons for doing so, I have a few professional ones as well:

  • she never questioned my desire to pursue this silly career
  • on weekends, when I occasionally returned home from college, her Laundromat was always open…
  • …and when I arrived back at my apartment, I always had a bag full of groceries
  • I’ve never received a lecture about the long hours I sometimes keep
  • even 30 years later, she still hasn’t expressed her disappointment in me not becoming a doctor

Thanks for a lifetime of support, Mom!

Culture Watch

Looks like some do-gooders, aided and abetted by spineless bureaucrats, have banned another book. All because a character in a piece of fiction doesn’t dig Mormons. The way our public schools operate these days, it’s a wonder anyone reads anything anymore.

Reminds me of the MPAA rating descriptor for In the Shadow of the Moon: “Rated PG for mild language, brief violent images and incidental smoking.” OMG! Smoking! In the name of all that is holy, look away!!!

I know, I know—here at the last word we prefer to stay away from politics, but sometimes things are so fargin’ ridiculous that you can’t help yourself.

On Website Design

Excellent article on the state of restaurant website design. But the thing is, it’s not just restaurants. Some of the worst sites out there belong to universities and government agencies.

Bottom line? When you don’t have a basic understanding of what your customers actually want—and you stubbornly attempt to control every facet of the user “experience”—bad design inevitably follows.

You’re gonna need a bigger boat…

While the continuing fascination with the “mashup” genre is a regular source of bemusement for me, I must admit that this is a particularly well-done specimen.

Monday Miscellany

Took the missus up to Crawford State Park on Saturday, whence we descended into the 41º depths of Gardner Cave, the third-longest limestone cavern in the state. Well worth the two-hour drive.

Also worth a look is the 2007 film In the Shadow of the Moon, a British documentary on the manned moon missions of the late 60s and early 70s. Michael Collins, Apollo 11 command module pilot, is a hoot.

Finally, Wheaton College English professor Alan Jacobs believes that readers are born, not made—and that, for the most part, we cannot be taught to love reading. I think he’s right.

The Art of the Obituary

Here’s a gentleman I wish I had known.

The World in 60 Seconds

Move is one of three short films shot over 44 days in 11 different countries. Learn and Eat complete the trilogy.

The Science of Slogans

The Atlantic has an interesting overview of slogans (around here we call them “taglines”) throughout history. They’ve selected some real gems—and some absolute stinkers.

For what it’s worth, here’s my top five:

  1. Think different. (Apple)
  2. Finger-lickin’ good! (Kentucky Fried Chicken)
  3. Better living through chemistry. (DuPont)
  4. I can’t believe I ate the whole thing. (Alka-Seltzer)
  5. We answer to a higher authority. (Hebrew National)

“Rose has a world-class udder…”

If you leave now, you just might make it to St-Hyacinthe, Quebec in time to see the world’s most beautiful cow. And who among us wouldn’t want to do that?

Meet Andy Rogynous

Our intrepid associate and senior designer Shirlee Roberts noticed this little guy over at the Spokane County courthouse last week.

On the one hand, I’m grateful that someone thoughtfully crossed out an offending letter rather than requisition a couple hundred signs declaring that “men” does not in fact mean only men, and that it is in no way a commentary on the questionable gender of certain crew members, and that diversity is a glorious mosaic and all that. (One wonders whether the two-thirds of an ellipsis is also a cost-cutting measure.)

On the other hand, I’ve been told that this figure didn’t actually work. So while that uniquely qualifies it to be a county employee, it also means it’s a big fat liar.

How Can You Tell Whether They’re Ripe?

Yes, it’s a real label. No, I don’t care to comment.

Still waters run deep…

…but a babbling brook is shallow.

As a card-carrying introvert, I applaud Jonathan Rauch’s article on our proper care and feeding. I’m not so sure, however, that you extroverts will sit still long enough to read it, so let me summarize it for you: stop talking to us.

And the Winner Is…

Sue Fondrie, associate professor of Curriculum and Instruction at the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh, is the winner of the 2011 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. The annual competition challenges entrants to compose bad opening sentences to imaginary novels.

Here’s Professor Fondrie’s winning entry:

Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.

Brilliant, for sure—though I’m partial to the runner-up in the “Purple Prose” category:

The Los Angeles morning was heavy with smog, the word being a portmanteau of smoke and fog, though in LA the pollutants are typically vehicular emissions as opposed to actual smoke and fog, unlike 19th-century London where the smoke from countless small coal fires often combined with fog off the Thames to produce true smog, though back then they were not clever enough to call it that.

Complete results can be found here.

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