What happened when Walt Disney shared his idea for a theme park with a focus group? Pretty much what you’d expect from a focus group: “proven moneymakers are conspicuously missing,” “custom rides will never work,” and “too much wasteful landscaping.”
The physics of clown cars. Need I say more?
And finally, Brian Haubert and Kevin Brown have “crunched the numbers”: Judgment Day is apparently less than two weeks away. So look busy.
There’s a strange tendency of late to superficially apply “brand” to things that, to my mind, were never meant to be branded in the first place. Politicians are some of the worse offenders, branding party platforms, terms, talking points—even themselves.
Case in point: what was once called the “inheritance tax” was made more palatable by the Left by re-branding it the “estate tax,” raising the specter of class warfare. The Right, not to be outdone, re-re-branded it the “death tax,” leaving many to believe that anyone who dies is subject to a penalty. And all the while, the tax itself remained relatively unchanged.
The latest attempt is to re-brand “evil.” Apparently, it’s a matter of empathy deficit disorder. Psychopaths and narcissists should be seen as “disabled.” Conflict resolution is as easy as “two people meeting, getting to know each other and tuning in to what the other person is thinking and feeling”—if only we’d give it a try.
On the substance of the argument, color me skeptical. On the notion that you can change the very essence of something by simply renaming it—and calling it a “re-branding”—well…that’s an insult to good brands everywhere.
“Don’t get caught in some false perception of yourself. There will always be another person more gifted than you.”–Thich Nhat Hanh
…and because Tuesday has no feel.
Kramer: What’s today?
Newman: It’s Thursday.
Kramer: Really? Feels like Tuesday.
Newman: Tuesday has no feel. Monday has a feel, Friday has a feel, Sunday has a feel…
Kramer: I feel Tuesday and Wednesday…
Jerry: All right, shut up the both of you!
This is depressing: According to former Facebook “research scientist” Jeff Hammerbacher, “The best minds of my generation are thinking about how to make people click ads.”
Thank you, social media.
This is fascinating: a well-written product review (that is to say, with no spelling or grammar errors) tends to increase sales—whether the review is positive or negative. Why? Because “such reviews are perceived as objective and thorough.”
So. Don’t tell me that proper comma placement is subjective, or that knowing the difference between em and en dashes is proof of OCD, or that fighting the good fight against random capitalization is a waste of time. People judge you—and your capabilities—by your writing.
What? You forgot everything you learned in English 101? Afraid your grasp of subject-verb agreement is a bit tenuous, or that (shudder) your participles might be dangling? Good thing there’s AMD.
The pressure to use jargon—particularly in our profession—can be overwhelming. Why, just the other day, CK said he was going to be “out of pocket.” I myself once used “incent” as a verb.
There’s really no excuse for that. Ever. Thankfully, this easy-to-use tool will ensure it never happens again.
We’ve always believed in the power of words and images working together. This video might help explain why the right message is worth fighting for.
My brother-in-law alerted me to some pretty fine writing from the world of real estate:
Gracefully proportioned and built during an era of classic formality, this quintessential South Slope Manse is truly iconic in stature. Impeccably updated and restored from top to bottom plus surrounded by a profusion of city, Sound and Mountain VIEWS, this turreted grand lady is singular in design but immanently inviting. The magical past is evident everywhere, from the hand painted canvas ceilings and walls to the abundant fenestration and a wrap around porch that whispers “mint juleps
Methinks the writer is a fan of Microsoft Word’s synonym feature. Abundant fenestration? Magical past? And best of all: the use of “immanently”—a term only philosophers and theologians are brave enough to bandy about.
But then, the asking price is just under $3.5 million. So perhaps a ten-dollar word sprinkled here and there is necessary to attract the right audience.
In this business, meetings can be soul-draining time hogs. These philosophy referee signals would sure speed things up.
I think it was Erasmus who said that the desire to write grows with writing. It’s perhaps a bit presumptuous of me to offer an emendation, but I’d like to suggest that the desire to write grows also with subjugation, murder, and general psychopathy.
Which raises an interesting question: does the poetry of Stalin cast the commie thug in a softer light? Or does it merely point to the narcissism prevalent—and apparently necessary—in every dictator? More importantly, If I started ruling with an iron fist, could I get my poetry published?
The estimable Curtis “Caput” Smith, culinary instructor and prize-winning chef, once told me he’s convinced that “if every person on earth would be required to finish every sentence they started, completely, there would be a lot less confusion, anger, and resentment worldwide.”
I think he’s on to something. Call it the “Verbal Mulligan Eradication Act of 2011.”
For one thing, it would force us to choose our words more carefully. For another, it may very well reduce the fillers we use as we think through what we’re trying to, like, you know, um…say. Finally, it would shut a lot of annoying people up.
If you, like Chef Smith, have an idea that has the potential to fundamentally alter the way the world turns, please share. We’ll be happy to broadcast it to the three or four readers of the last word.
It seems that any time someone laments the deterioration of our language, there’s a knee-jerk response from the perpetrators, smugly accusing the other side of being afraid of change.
It’s not change we fear, it’s stupidity. And “LOL” is stupid. Not to mention a wholly unnecessary addition to our “vibrant, evolving” language.
For some reason, Very Important Things seem to happen on April 12.
1633 Galileo goes on trial for heresy
1861 the Civil War begins
1945 FDR dies
1954 Bill Haley and the Comets record “Rock Around the Clock”
1961 Yuri Gagarin becomes the first man in space
1981 the first launch of the space shuttle
If you count the name of Haley’s band, that’s four out of six space-themed events.
Words fail me.