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Monday Miscellany

Philip K. Dick’s last interview from the June 1982 issue of Rod Serling’s The Twilight Zone Magazine.… An ugly Lamborghini (no, really).… Today’s Britain: women dressed as badgers were seen “chasing doughty nationalist supporters down London’s Whitehall as a large number of security forces in iridescent jackets looked on from police lines.”… One in thirteen people have flexible ape-like feet. No word on the other twelve.… Two words: Sky City.… And finally, Australia continues to thumb its nose at convention, this time with giant pink slugs.

Somewhere, a Focus Group Is Laughing Maniacally

Do you ever wonder whether there’s a finite amount of good ideas, and we’ve simply run out of them?

No?

This might cause you to think otherwise.

A Still-Developing Story

This looks absolutely fascinating, if perhaps—just perhaps—a little opportunistic. Until the film is completed, you can learn more about Ms. Maier’s odd life and see some of her newly discovered work here.

It’s Not Easy Being Green

froggy

On a Saturday afternoon hike in the Deep Creek area of Riverside State Park, my daughter Emma managed to convince this little guy to pose for a portrait on a large chunk of basalt.

@#$%!

My friend Derek—who’s moved his online musings from here to here—sent me a link to The Origins of 9 Great British Insults. Which is weird, because I happened to be reading this at the time.

While recognizing the social need for taboo language, I remain indifferent to much of it. I mean, I’m rarely offended when the “n-word” is used; the various and—let’s be honest—downright ingenious ways the f-bomb is deployed are more likely to make me giggle than to cause indignation.

Which brings me back to the British insults list, from which we learn that “clod hopper” appears in the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. Would that offend anyone today? And if not, is it a function of the evolution of language, or evidence that we’ve become desensitized?

Or—and this is by far the more likely scenario—am I way over-thinking it?

Reasons Why Spokane Is Awesome, no. 34,876

So the missus and I were waiting for the parade to start last Saturday when we discovered Monkeyboy Books, a little shop in the Atrium Building on South Wall, just a couple of blocks from Domini’s. (And yes, that’s pretty much a recipe for the perfect evening: a good book, a salami on sourdough, and marching bands.)

Anyway, for a little over $20, I made it out of there with a nice little 1977 copy of William Forsell Kirby’s 1907 translation of The Kalevala (for me) and a barely used paperback of Jonathan Franzen’s The Corrections (for her).

Monkeyboy Books is the sort of shop that seems more at home on Berkeley’s Telegraph Avenue circa 1966 than tucked away off the beaten path in downtown Spokane. The selection is large, the prices are right, and the atmosphere is perfect. Here’s hoping it lasts longer than the Kindle.

Happy Birthday to “the Unreachable World-Famous Noble Master of Poetry and Music*”

Richard Wagner was born 200 years ago today. I’m celebrating by playing Götterdämmerung—the celebrated 1964 Solti recording—while Shirlee’s at lunch.

Back in 2011, Alex Ross wrote a typically insightful essay for the New Yorker that helps explain why Wagner, the man responsible for “the most ambitious work of art ever attempted,” still matters today. Since you’re too late to make the celebration at Bayreuth, why not give it a read?

And please, please, please…ignore the constant reminders that Wagner wasn’t a terribly nice man. Just listen.

*In the words of Anton Bruckner, who dedicated his third symphony to Wagner. 

Physics!

Earlier today, my brother-in-law sent me a tantalizing email: What If? meets The Big Lebowski.

Here’s a teaser—as if you needed one: “And now…whenever I look at the Moon, I’ll notice the Sea of Tranquility, the Sea of Serenity, and the Sea of Crisis, and I’ll think: Finger holes.

(Thanks, Mike!)

Stop! Grammar Time!

How long has it been since we talked grammar? Too long, I’m thinking. So let’s not waste any more time.

A frequent source of confusion for a lot of people is what to call all these college graduates that seem to have appeared out of nowhere. It used to be simple: one man was an alumnus, a group of men were alumni; one woman was an alumna, a group of women were alumnae.

But in an era when neutrality reigns supreme—it was just just last year, after all, that Sweden introduced the genderless pronoun “hen”—we’ve apparently decided that “alumnus” and “alumni” are now unisex terms for all graduates. (But if you have trouble remembering the rules for singular and plural, “alum” will do.)

So are there still freshmen in college? Or are they now freshpersons?

Am I missing something?

When it comes to advertising to Hispanics, the conventional wisdom is that we need to do more than just translate existing materials into Spanish. And that’s what the headline for this piece over at Adweek is clearly suggesting. Yet the data in the article that follows doesn’t seem to support the claim.

Looking at all the pretty charts and graphs, it’s clear to me that second-generation Hispanics don’t care nearly as much about their ethnicity as their first-generation peers. It stands to reason that third- and fourth-generation Hispanics will care even less. We used to call that “assimilation,” but I think “acculturation” is the more generally accepted term these days. In other words, the longer you’re here, the more American you become. (And no, that’s not a bad thing.)

So should we care about targeted messaging when marketing to Hispanics—or any other ethnicity? I’m not so sure. In fact, I’d venture to say that focusing on ethnicity might actually slow down the assimilation process by treating individuals as nothing more than part of a monolithic cultural block. Something doesn’t seem quite right about that.

“…endowed, jaunty and erotically scented…”

Though I’m pretty sure we’re all aware of it by now, this is the funniest exposé yet of the wine tasting, reviewing, and rating racket I’ve seen. (Keep in mind, though, that I recently declared a restaurant’s house red not only serviceable but also downright enjoyable—only to find out after the fact that I was drinking this. So perhaps I’m not qualified to comment.)

Tea Time

George Orwell apparently had some thoughts on tea. Eleven of them, in fact—the tenth of which goes so far as to address the controversy over precisely when milk should be added:

“…by putting the tea in first and stirring as one pours, one can exactly regulate the amount of milk whereas one is liable to put in too much milk if one does it the other way round.”

On a recent trip to Colorado to shoot some television commercials for the City of Greeley, I had the occasion to meet with a couple of British expatriates. I asked them about proper tea preparation, and, apart from the timing of the milk (both were indifferent on this point), they take it as seriously as Orwell did.

I’ve been a daily coffee drinker since I was 11; tea came a little later—when I was a junior or senior in high school, I think. Both were always taken black. Recently, however, I’ve discovered that strong British tea—like Yorkshire or Typhoo—can be a truly sublime experience with a little splash of milk.

To Orwell’s list, I’d add only one thing. He mentions drinking from a “cylindrical type of cup” as opposed to the more typical flat, shallow cups, but doesn’t specify that it should be made of fine bone china. It really does make a difference.

Monday Miscellany

I thought Spokane’s streets were bad. But at least we don’t have to deal with wormholes to other times and dimensions.… Baseball geekery alert: an exhaustive analysis of Bryce Harper’s swing.… This 2011 photo tour of the abandoned Rockland County Psychiatric Center has prompted former patients, doctors, nurses, and area residents to share memories of the place.… The Guardian‘s Tom Service has just completed a 50-part survey of contemporary classical music with an essay on Karlheinz Stockhausen. But before you begin, be sure to read this.… An Idaho State University anthropologist has figured out a less bellicose use for drones.

A Sudden and Calamitous Event

From time to time I like to share with y’all an episode of “Martini Shot,” Rob Long’s behind-the-scenes glimpse at Hollywood life. (It airs weekly on KCRW, but you can subscribe to the podcast here.) Long, who landed a writing gig on Cheers when he was just 23, has a unique perspective on the “frivolous business” that pays his mortgage. This week, he takes a look at market research. You won’t want to miss it.

Does This Towering Intellect Make Me Look Tall?

Until I took Pew Research Center’s Science and Technology quiz, I had pretty much resigned myself to being, like Winnie the Pooh, a bear of very little brain. It’s not necessarily that I’m dumb; it’s just that I’m relatively uneducated. But after achieving a perfect score, I started to think otherwise.

Then I took their Religious Knowledge quiz. Perfect again—a feat matched by only one percent of the population. Guess that means I’m persona non grata with the Occupy crowd. Do you suppose…? No, it couldn’t be.

Finally, I took the News IQ quiz. 13 for 13.

As should be blindingly obvious by now, the only possible explanation is that I’m some sort of super-genius—though it could also be that those who took the original surveys are all mouth-breathing cretins. But really, what are the odds of that? So we’ll stick with super-genius.

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