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McDonald’s Fiddles while Rome Burns

At first, I thought this had to be a joke. I mean, check it out:

The tubular nozzle’s extra air holes optimize the flow of the milkshake, giving people a much easier sucking experience. Sucking, of course, being the primary stumbling block with milk-based products.

And get a load of this quote from “Seth Newburg,” purportedly a principal engineer and managing partner at NK Labs:

It was a puzzling assignment but one with an ambitious goal. From a physics perspective, it’s actually quite difficult to deliver a proportional amount of both chocolate and mint flavors with each sip. But that’s exactly what we did. It’s a marvel of fluid dynamics.

Alas, the STRAW (Suction Tube for Reverse Axial Withdrawal) appears to be all too real. And Seth Newburg is totally legit. Heck, you can read the press release for yourself. There’s even a video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc7hmqrGyPE

So I guess we’ve solved all the world’s problems, then.

Don’t get me wrong: McDonald’s is a proven innovator. They not only perfected breakfast, but also figured out how to turn “pig bits like tripe, heart, and scalded stomach” into a delicious sandwich.

But this? Color me dubious. Anything designed to deliver four times your recommended daily sugar intake even faster isn’t exactly what you’d call a giant leap for mankind.

Kind of excited to try it out, though.



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