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On Death and AI

Did you know that AI is writing obituaries now?

It makes sense, given how ubiquitous artificial intelligence has become in our modern world. But somehow, I’d missed this fact until a few months back, when I stumbled onto an obituary that was very clearly AI-generated.

The telltale signs were there: lofty yet generic descriptions; repetitive language; and a lack of real human emotion. Sure, the obituary was polished and grammatically clean. But it felt more plastic than organic, more trite than meaningful.

More machine learning than lived experience.

What do I mean? Here’s a sample obituary generated by an AI obituary writer:

Jenny will be remembered for her kind and gentle nature, her love of life, and her generous heart. She will be deeply missed by all who knew and loved her.

While seemingly heartfelt, this description is vague and superficial. It could apply to literally millions of people around the world. Many are kind and generous and love life. Nearly everyone will be missed in some way by those who loved them.

Compare that to an excerpt from this obituary, written by a person:

Her love of cooking was a gift she shared. It was her way of saying, “I love you”. During the holidays, she and her family made tamales together, and it wasn’t long before her tamales became well-known. Her husband willingly became her “tamale partner”, taking orders and delivering to family, friends and neighbors.

Though not as elegant, perhaps, it feels authentic. When you read it, you get a clearer picture of who this person was and what made her unique. It includes the kinds of details that wouldn’t be elicited from the generic forms of an AI service.

It’s wonderfully human.

Here’s the funny thing about the obituaries people write – they mirror real life. They’ve got quirks and errors and entertaining tidbits. They express joy and sorrow and humor. Yes, they can be awkward and formulaic, but hey, life can be that way too.

The obituaries we write should be unique because our lives are unique. No person on Earth has ever lived the exact same experience, from start to finish.

To be fair, I understand why people would use an AI service, and I don’t blame anyone who does. It’s tough to write a thoughtful account of your loved one’s life when you’re deep in grief and taking care of all the details that surround death.

Trust me, I know. I’ve been there.

I’m not opposed to AI. When used fairly and responsibly, it can make our lives better. But I believe the written account of a person’s one and only life is a place to honor our humanity rather than outsource it to technology.

For most people, an obituary is the only published record of their lives.

Shouldn’t we make those words count?



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