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Like, Wow.

Over at City Journal, Clark Whelton, a former speechwriter for Ed Koch and Rudy Giuliani, tracks the decline and fall of American English. He reckons it began in 1985—the year I graduated from high school. Surely it’s just a coincidence.

This Is NOT about Late-Night Barhopping. Or Laundry.

And now, I present a brief tutorial on scoring and folding, compliments of Kit Hinrichs.

Get the Funk Out

What with published authors arguing that stricter copyright laws are needed to produce another Shakespeare, Democratic lawmakers on the lam, and a rare book dealer suggesting that (gasp!) reading is overrated, one wonders whether the apocalypse is nigh. At least it’s Friday.

How’s about some balm for our troubled souls? From Consummation, the 1970 album by Thad Jones and Mel Lewis:

[audio:https://helveticka.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/05-Us.mp3|titles=05 Us]

Calculated Madness

Reading Garry Kasparov’s review of a new book about Bobby Fischer, I was reminded of William Hartston’s observation that “chess is not something that drives people mad; chess is something that keeps mad people sane.”

A Vigorous Defense of Prescriptivism

One of my favorite magazines talks about one of my favorite reference books. Here’s the money quote:

You don’t open A Dictionary of Modern English Usage to brush up on “sound linguistic principles” or to find out whether a phrase is common enough to be uncontroversial. You open it, rather, to consult the opinions of those whose understanding of the patterns of language is wider and deeper than your own, and who have a more sensitive ear for its rhythms and resonances. It’s true that languages mutate, and that grammatical “rules” aren’t “rules” in the ontological sense. But who cares? All you want to know is whether a particular usage is in accord with the habits of literate people.

Back to the Future

This is an interesting project: Argentinean photographer Irina Werning “re-enacts” old photos—sometimes decades later—by placing their subjects in similar clothing, poses, and settings.

When I was a kid, I hoped I’d grow up to look just like Kent McCord from “Adam-12,” or, at the very least, like the guy who played John Gage in “Emergency!” As these photographs suggest, however, most of us end up looking pretty much the same.

Guess we can’t all win the genetic lottery.

More from the project here.

Monday Miscellany

Today is the feast day of Maron of Syria. What that has to do with chocolates and flowers and revolting pastel candy hearts, I’ll never know.

In last week’s edition of Monday Miscellany, we had the occasion to mention Stephen Drury, the pianist, conductor, and tireless advocate of contemporary music. Do check out his website here, and, while you’re at it, pick up one or two of his CDs over at Amazon. Here’s a little taste, from the album John Cage: In a Landscape (Catalyst, 1995):

[audio:https://helveticka.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/01-In-a-Landscape.mp3|titles=01 In a Landscape]

Finally, if you’ve ever wondered how much information there is in the world, well…prepare to be dazzled.

A Word on Punctuation

The aim of proper punctuation is not just to blindly hew to a set of inflexible rules; it’s to clarify. In fact, that’s what grammar’s all about.

I bring this up because, as a sometime editor, I too often find myself defending old-school practices like hyphenating compound modifiers and adding the serial comma. It’s not that folks don’t understand. They just don’t see the point.

The point is, there’s simply no reason not to employ the serial comma. And there aren’t very many reasons not to hyphenate compound modifiers. But there’s one big reason why one should: it makes clear your intent. The easier it is for someone to read your writing, the greater the likelihood that it’ll actually get read.

Which is sort of why one writes. Isn’t it?

Mediocrity Pays

AbeBooks.com—a great resource, by the way, particularly for hard-to-find titles—just revealed its top 10 most expensive sales for January 2011.

At the top of the list is a 24-volume signed Joseph Conrad set, published in 1920 and limited to 735 copies. It sold for $13,823. An 1852 edition of Uncle Tom’s Cabin went for $12,302. So far, so good. But then things start to get surreal: number 3 on the list (at $11,971) is the complete seven-volume Harry Potter series.

Yeah, it’s signed by the author. And it’s “deluxe,” whatever that means. But c’mon. $12K for Harry Freakin’ Potter?!? Seriously?

As if to add insult to injury, Teddy Roosevelt’s Big Game Hunting in the Rockies and on the Great Plains—likewise signedfetched only $8,125.

The complete list is here.

Say Goodbye to Workplace Productivity…

Duke University has opened up its digital archive of vintage television ads. There are thousands of ’em, and they’re available in iTunes—free.  Check it out.

Monday Miscellany

Like a bajillion or so other folks, I watched the Super Bowl yesterday, tuning in just in time to witness Lea Michele squeeze out a painfully earnest version of “God Bless America,” followed by Christina Aguilera, who, blissfully unaware that it wasn’t all about her, went and put her stank all over the national anthem. Thankfully, the Packers prevailed, but still.

Anthony Tommasini has compiled a list of the top 10 classical composers—and it’s not nearly as ridiculous as it sounds (though I’m a bit miffed that Mahler didn’t make the cut). Bonus: the article mentions Spokane’s own Stephen Drury, who, along with his brother Bill, has managed to do some pretty remarkable things while being largely ignored by his hometown.

Finally, Farrah Fawcett’s red swimsuit—you know the one I’m talking about—is, at long last, given the respect it deserves.

Friday Bonus Post!

Because it’s Friday—and to make up for letting all of Wednesday go by without posting—I present April Smith and the Great Picture Show, from 2010’s Songs for a Sinking Ship:

[audio:https://helveticka.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/02-Terrible-Things.mp3|titles=02 Terrible Things]

A Capital Idea

An area of writing that frequently causes consternation among our clients is, surprisingly, capitalization. If I had a nickel for everyone who wanted to capitalize words and phrases like “basement” or “executive director” or “bachelor’s degree,” why, I’d have a lot of nickels.

Here’s a quick lesson: If it’s a proper noun—the name of a person, place, or thing—capitalize it. If it’s a common noun—the thing itself—don’t.

And here’s a quick reminder: Capitalization has nothing to do with how important you believe a word is. The president of your company may sign your checks, but that doesn’t make him the President.

There Once Was a Man from Nantucket…

Behold! The Omnificent English Dictionary In Limerick Form—quite possibly the greatest achievement in publishing since Euclid’s Elements was first set in type. No, really. I mean it. Check out the entry for Caux, Switzerland:

The beautiful village of Caux
Is a place where the peacemakers gaux.
Around it is Switzerland:
Mountainous bits o’ land
Covered in powdery snaux.

Like We Didn’t See This Coming

The short—and, one would think, obvious—answer to this question is “Yes.” What’ll really be interesting is seeing what takes its place.

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