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Who Needs Beauty, Anyway?

Kudos to the Spokesman-Review‘s Stefanie Pettit, who sounds the alarm over the “declining into banality” of language. Here’s the money quote:

We need better words, sometimes more poetic words, sometimes words we need to look up if we can’t figure them out on their own. We need all the beauty and complexity of language to communicate well, to tell the story, to verbally paint a beautiful picture or maybe just a clear picture.

Preach it, sister! Plus, look at it this way: Even if we eventually lose the fight, “manning the barricades against the barbaric descriptivist hordes” can totally go on your résumé.

Happy New Year, Everyone

A couple of months ago, I had my first Trinidad Sour at Ruins—hands-down the best place in all of Spokane for delicious grub and adult beverages. The drink was so good I had another (which, despite what you may have heard, is unusual for me), then resolved to learn how to make it myself. Turns out it isn’t all that hard:

1 oz. Angostura Bitters
1 oz. orgeat
3/4 oz. fresh lemon juice
1/2 oz. Rittenhouse Rye

Shake with ice and strain into a chilled coupe.

A couple of notes: No, that’s not a typo, it’s a full ounce of Angostura. It’ll blow your mind. Also, make the effort to find BG Reynolds orgeat. And while any rye will probably do, Rittenhouse’s “very assertive, almost feral” profile is just what you need for this kind of drink.

So whether you’re heading out on the town this evening or shaking the Cheetos dust off your Snuggie for another lonely Netflix all-nighter, pause for just a moment to toast 2015 with a Trinidad Sour. Then go right ahead and greet the new year with another.

See ya’ll next year.

Stop! Grammar Time!

Great reminder from June Casagrande that your dictionary is good for more than just definitions:

Here are just a few of the seemingly baffling grammar and usage questions the dictionary can answer: Is it “I have drank tea many times” or “I have drunk”? What’s the plural of cactus? Why does “smart” have “smarter” but “intelligent” doesn’t have “intelligenter”? What do I do when my spell-checker flags a word like “unfun” or “neighborhoodwide”? How do I choose between “donut” and “doughnut”? Can I use a noun as an adjective, like by saying “It’s a bagel day” or “It’s a guy thing”?

It’s true. I could easily do my job without Strunk & White, Fowler, and The Chicago Manual of Style. But no dictionary? As the kids say, I can’t even.

Miscellany—and More Music

Back from an ever-so-brief blogging hiatus, we bring you the latest from helveticka‘s global news bureaus:

The true story of Roland the Farter, in which we learn of the existence of “professional fartists.”

“[J]ust like sugar, pornography and television, ‘what you prefer is not always good for you or right for you.'” Science myths that refuse to die.

Western civilization is doomed: “Eight of the top 20 selling books on Amazon currently are coloring books designed for adults.”

A Love Supreme is 50 years old,” says Ravi Coltrane. “But if you have not heard it before—you didn’t know it existed before yesterday—than [sic] it’s essentially brand new.”

Speaking of music, I need to amend my best-of list from December 3, not to mention retract this headline. I just discovered Anna Thorvaldsdottir’s In the Light of Air. It’s a breathtakingly beautiful piece of contemporary classical music, and really shouldn’t be missed.

It’s Never Easy

No other typeface stirs up such divergent viewpoints as Swiss-born Helvetica. According to Wolfgang Weingart—the father of Swiss Punk typography—it’s “the epitome of ugliness.” On the other hand, Massimo Vignelli is a little more reflective. “I’m trying to think of drawbacks of Helvetica,” he said. “I hardly know one.”

And then there are those who equate the use of Helvetica with lazy design. Amsterdam’s Experimental Jetset has some thoughts about that:

To suggest that the way we use Helvetica is an easy way out typographically is ridiculous. We spend an enormous amount of time spacing, lining, and positioning type. The fact that we use only a small variety of typefaces demands a certain discipline, a skillful precision, a focus on the finer details. It’s certainly not a-different-typeface-for-every-occasion attitude. Now, that would be an easy way out.

As for us, well…you know where we stand.

Tick…tick…tick…

So Christmas is next week. T-minus nine days and counting. And even though my shopping is done, I won’t judge you if yours isn’t. In fact, I’m gonna give you a helping hand. Head on over to Helveticahaus—home of the finest Swiss sans serif swag around—to save big on gifts for the entire family. Bonus: all proceeds go toward funding scholarships for starving design students, so you’ll feel good doing it.

Stop! Grammar Time!

This is from David Foster Wallace’s handout on five common usage mistakes, which he gave to students taking his Fall 2002 section of English 183A (an advanced fiction writing class) at Pomona College:

For a compound sentence to require a comma plus a conjunction, both its constituent clauses must be independent. An independent clause (a) has both a subject and a main verb, and (b) expresses a complete thought. In a sentence like “He ate all the food, and went back for more,” you don’t need both the comma and the and because the second clause isn’t independent.

For a guy like me—that is, someone who writes and edits by instinct more than anything else—this is eye-opening. I mean, I could’ve told you that the comma doesn’t belong there, but for the life of me I wouldn’t have been able to explain why. Nor would I have had the slightest clue as to how to find out.

You can see the original handout here.

One More Music Post for 2015

Last week I gave y’all the definitive list of the year’s best music. On that list was The Epic by Kamasi Washington. Because I have my finger on the pulse of the nation’s music tastemakers, Washington’s album has since appeared on a number of other best-of lists (like here, here, and here, for instance). These guys must read our blog.

Where The Epic is noticeably absent: the GRAMMY nominations. But since “music’s biggest night” is little more than an industry awards show for people who don’t actually listen to music, should we really be surprised?

Enough about that, though. I’m listening to it right now, and I’ve gotta say that Washington’s three-disc jazz debut is a legit masterpiece, as astonishing in its scope as it is breathtaking in its audacity. If there’s a music lover on your Christmas list this year, buy The Epic. They’ll thank you—and you’ll thank me.

In the meantime, take a listen to the 14-minute “Re Run Home”:

Re Run Home

Poetry Break

ab_blog

FRAMING
Jorie Graham

Something is left out, something left behind. As, for instance,

in this photo of myself at four, the eyes
focus elsewhere, the hand interrupted mid-air by some enormous,
sudden,
fascination.

Something never before seen has happened left of frame,
and everything already known
is more opaque for it.
Beyond the frame is why

the hydrangea midsummer will go no further, though it continues,
why this century, late and turning,
turns away; beyond
is where the story goes after all the knots are tied, and where

the insects meet in order to become
the grand machine they are the perfect parts of; beyond
is what the wind
leans towards, easy as can be, the sheep

we have already counted,
the world too large to fit.
Within, it would have been a mere event,
not destructive as it is now, destructive as the past remains,

becomes, by knowing more than we do.

(1980)

90 Percent of the Quilting Jokes on Pinterest Are about Ryan Gosling

Growing up in my mother’s quilt shop taught me a lot of things: color theory, how to determine grain, and what quality craftsmanship was. My mom is a quilting wiz – just ask anyone who knows her or her three children whose homes and lives are filled with her creations. She produces things I couldn’t even dream up and makes them look not only beautiful, but also effortless. Her perspective is astounding.

For a long time, I’ve struggled with how to bring quilting into my own life. But now – with enough space, cash flow, and patience – I’m finally in a better position to give it a go. And with my family’s idea of quilting so far stretched from the norm (bright colors, batiks, funky patterns, high contrast, and texture, all of which add up to very non-traditional quilted pieces), I feel like I just need to do it.

In fact, I already have a plan forming in my head on how to execute this, and hopefully, in future blog posts, you’ll see the fruits of that labor. In the meantime, check out some of the wonderful, progressive quilting that shows off killer flavor and total badassery:

quilt_blog

If you want to lose a good half a day, search “modern quilts” or “art quilting” on Pinterest. Your mind will be blown. Also, search “quilt jokes.” All Ryan Gosling.

Quote of the Day

From James Wood’s How Fiction Works (2008):

Nietzsche laments, in Beyond Good and Evil: “What a torment books written in German are for him who has a third ear.” If prose is to be as well written as poetry—the old modernist hope—novelists and readers must develop their own third ears. We have to read musically, testing the precision and rhythm of a sentence, listening for the almost inaudible rustle of historical association clinging to the hems of modern words, attending to patterns, repetitions, echoes, deciding why one metaphor is successful and another is not, judging how the perfect placement of the right verb or adjective seals a sentence with mathematical finality.

Best Music of 2015

It’s that time of year again. “The silent majesty of a winter’s morn…the clean, cool chill of the holiday air…” and the long-awaited, definitive list of the albums that you should totally be (1) listening to right now, or (2) purchasing for your music-loving friends and family this Christmas.

Last year’s epic six-part tour of the then-current music scene (here, here, here, here, here, and here for you newbies) was brilliant, insightful, and correct—but it was also exhausting. I’m a writer; I’m lazy by nature. And, to be perfectly honest, it was just too hard to trim my list down to a manageable 10.

Most likely to persuade you that, really, you’re not that great of a guitar player:
The Aristocrats—Tres Caballeros
Julian Lage—Worlds Fair
David Torn—Only Sky

Best excuse to drop $45 on a box set of hippy-dippy sonic meditations:
Kronos Quartet—One Earth, One People, One Love: Kronos Plays Terry Riley

Most convincing case for metal as a legitimate art form:
Between The Buried & Me—Coma Ecliptic

Best argument against the death of jazz:
Dave Douglas—High Risk
Amir ElSaffar—Crisis
Jack DeJohnette—Made in Chicago
Vijay Iyer Trio—Break Stuff

Most likely to bring you to your knees as you acknowledge the existence of a higher power:
Francis Poulenc—Choral Music
Wolfgang Rihm—Et Lux

Best music for practicing omphaloskepsis:
Scott Worthington—Prism
Bruce Brubaker—Glass Piano

Most likely to convert a hip-hop* lover into a jazz aficionado:
Kamasi Washington—The Epic

Best tonic against the pervasive commodification and homogenization of American rock:
Steven Wilson—Hand. Cannot. Erase.
Gentle Giant—Octopus (new high-resolution and partly remixed version of the 1972 classic)

There you have it: the one best-of list you need to read this year. You’re welcome.

*Confession: For reasons that are far too complicated to go into right now, I recently listened to Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp a Butterfly. No, I still don’t understand hip-hop. No, I can’t express exactly how I feel about the experience. But yes, I’m pretty sure it’s as good as they’re saying it is.

Headline of the Year

Life got you down? Tired of meaningless work, a contemptuous spouse, and resentful kids?

No matter how bad you think you have it, there’s always someone who has it worse. Like—oh, I dunno—Desmond Morris. From today’s edition of the Daily Mirror (“Britain’s brightest tabloid newspaper”):

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 11.37.45 AM

Morris, it seems, “could not recall why he was dressed in women’s underwear,” though he confesses that a combination of crack cocaine and crystal meth might have had something to do with it.

“I think I was conscious I wasn’t wearing trousers,” explained Morris, “but not in the way I would be conscious if I was standing here now without them.” And then there’s the whole panda thing.

Really, you should probably read the whole article. You’ll feel much better about yourself.

Stop! Grammar Time!

I heard someone say in a meeting the other day that she needed to “flush out” some creative concepts. Now, the old Aaron would’ve quickly denounced the woman’s seemingly lackadaisical approach to the Queen’s English, insisted that she commit to memory the difference between flush out and flesh out, then stood by and watched as she committed various acts of self-flagellation.

Instead, the new, improved Aaron (the one with far more patience and humility) turned to Paul Brians for a quick refresher:

To “flesh out” an idea is to give it substance, as a sculptor adds clay flesh to a skeletal armature. To “flush out” a criminal is to drive him or her out into the open. The latter term is derived from bird-hunting, in which one flushes out a covey of quail. If you are trying to develop something further, use “flesh”; but if you are trying to reveal something hitherto concealed, use “flush.”

So. Had the individual in question put together the structure of a concept and simply needed more time for further development? Or had she hit something of a creative roadblock, and was still searching for that one great idea? Her word choice suggests the latter, but I don’t think that’s what she meant.

The difference between flesh and flush is only a single letter—but, in this case anyway, it’s a pretty big difference.

Today in History

Raymond Asquith to Lady Diana Cooper, from the Western Front, November 25, 1915:

“Out here one’s outlook on life, military life I mean, changes very rapidly—every now and then moments of excitement and almost of happiness even in the trenches, occasionally a moment almost of ecstasy when one marches in late at night after a week of dirt and bullets and finds a feather bed and a bottle of the Boy* awaiting one; then horrible reactions of boredom and nausea as one’s mind collapses under the pressure of prospect and retrospect and the monotony of a great desert of discomfort and danger with no visible horizon. But usually one is very equable, looking no further ahead than the next meal and feeling that really life is very much the same everywhere, war or no war.”

*Bollinger champagne, from Edward VII‘s habit of asking his valet for a bottle by shouting “Boy!” when thirsty.

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