Here’s proof that designer dog names have gotten completely out of control.
At a stoplight this morning, I pulled up behind a car that had a bumper sticker in the shape of a dog bone with these words inside:
I love my whoodle.
Call me ignorant, but I don’t know what a whoodle is. I’ve got to assume, based on the shape of the bumper sticker, that it’s a type of mixed breed dog. But which one? These days, there seem to be endless varieties of bougie designer dogs with absurd names.
During the rest of my drive to work, I mulled over the meaning of “whoodle.”
The “oodle,” of course, was obvious. It’s a poodle. But what about the “who”? I couldn’t think of a single dog breed that starts with the letters w-h-o. The closest would be a whippet. But, as I discovered later, after a quick online search, a whippet and poodle mix is called a whipoodle.
For real? Is a kid making up these names?
Don’t get me wrong. I like dogs, and I have one myself. Timber may be a plain old Labrador retriever, the standard vanilla of dog breeds, but he’s still a good boy who lives for food, naps, and belly rubs. I mean, just look at him. Who couldn’t love that face?
People, on the other hand, are the ones coming up with these silly, over-the-top names for dogs. What’s the deal with all the whos, poos, and oodles? Why not just call the dog a poodle mix? Do we really need to invent a frankenword to describe man’s best friend?
With this naming logic, my childhood pup – a dachshund, schnauzer, and terrier mix – would have been a designer dog with an outlandish name. Like a weinerschnitzel.
Go figure. As a kid, I’d just assumed that Gus was an ordinary Heinz 57 dog.
As for the meaning of “whoodle,” I’d like to think that the “who” actually stands for, “Who got the poodle pregnant?” And the breed is essentially half poodle and half sneaky neighbor dog.
Now that’s a meaning I like.
And frankly, it makes a lot more sense than the real one.