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We Live in Stupid Times

All this straw-banning nonsense is, well…just that: nonsense. Given that 60 percent of the plastic in the oceans comes from only five Asian countries, these new laws are nothing more than virtue-signaling by career politicians. I mean, take a look at this chart.

That aside, my favorite part of this Newsweek story is the quote from Chris Milne, director of packaging sourcing for Starbucks: “Starbucks is finally drawing a line in the sand and creating a mold for other large brands to follow. We are raising the water line for what’s acceptable and inspiring our peers to follow suit.”

I don’t know about you, but I count four metaphors in those two sentences. Four:

“Starbucks is finally drawing a line in the sand and creating a mold for other large brands to follow. We are raising the water line for what’s acceptable and inspiring our peers to follow suit.”

Then there’s the clichéd language like “what’s acceptable” and “inspiring our peers,” not to mention all the questions I have about how a large brand—or anyone, really—is supposed to follow a mold. And that’s not just a PR lackey speaking off the cuff, either. It came right out of the “Starbucks Newsroom.” Which means a bunch of middle-management types signed off on it. Heck, they’re probably incorporating it into a slide deck even as I write this.

When this stuff passes for good writing or clear thinking, forget about the plastic choking our oceans and killing the fish. We’re all doomed.



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