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Quote(s) of the Day

Yesterday I found myself at the Spalding Site of Nez Perce National Historic Park, where I read the following from Chief Joseph:

Let me be a free man—free to travel, free to stop, free to work, free to trade where I choose, free to choose my own teachers, free to follow the religion of my fathers, free to think and talk and act for myself—and I will obey every law, or submit to the penalty.

For some reason, I thought of something Thelonious Monk once said:

When I was a kid, some of the guys would try to get me to hate white people for what they’ve been doing to Negroes, and for a while I tried real hard. But every time I got to hating them, some white guy would come along and mess the whole thing up.

Which, inexplicably, reminded me of this, from Mahatma Gandhi:

Experience has taught me that silence is part of the spiritual discipline of a votary of truth. We find so many people impatient to talk. All this talking can hardly be said to be of any benefit to the world. It is so much waste of time.

So what’s the connection? Beats me. Could be something about how we all just need to shut the hell up. Quit telling people what to do, what to think, how to act. Try listening for a change. And maybe—just maybe—we might be able to get along a little better.

Or it could be that my synapses are just misfiring in my old age.

The End Is Nigh

Is it me, or is it a little ironic that World Emoji Day 2018 falls in the middle of Cannibal Week? I mean, a day set aside for the “celebration of all emojis” is a sure sign that the apocalypse is upon us, which in turn means we’re this close to a dystopian nightmare in which the only way to survive will be to hunt down and feast on our neighbors.

Which is why I’d rather spend my time over at Cult of Weird today, where I can read about Ratu Udre Udre, the Guinness world record holder for most prolific cannibal.* Or how “the people of Tasmania want the skull of their cannibal killer back.” Or—my favorite—”Missionary for Dinner.”

Or, if you’re just a little, you know…curious:

*Thinking about having a go at the Fijian chief’s title? You should probably get started. He ate as many as 999 people in his lifetime.

Rise of the Machines

Tim Berners-Lee has regrets. From the very beginning, it turns out, the inventor of the World Wide Web “understood how the epic power of the Web would radically transform governments, businesses, societies. He also envisioned that his invention could, in the wrong hands, become a destroyer of worlds, as Robert Oppenheimer once infamously observed of his own creation.”

Vanity Fair‘s Katrina Brooker has more:

His prophecy came to life, most recently, when revelations emerged that Russian hackers interfered with the 2016 presidential election, or when Facebook admitted it exposed data on more than 80 million users to a political research firm, Cambridge Analytica, which worked for Donald Trump’s campaign. This episode was the latest in an increasingly chilling narrative. In 2012, Facebook conducted secret psychological experiments on nearly 700,000 users. Both Google and Amazon have filed patent applications for devices designed to listen for mood shifts and emotions in the human voice.

So what can we mortals do about it? I mean, that ship has sailed, right? The cat’s out of the bag. You can’t unring that bell.

Not according to Berners-Lee: “You don’t have to have any coding skills. You just have to have a heart to decide enough is enough. Get out your Magic Marker and your signboard and your broomstick. And go out on the streets.”

Weekend Recommendations

Thanks to a friend who lent me a copy, I’m finally reading Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Even if you’re not an introvert, I implore you to check it out.

Speaking of better late than never, a new musical discovery for me is the Austin-based duo Stars of the Lid. I recently picked up The Tired Sounds of… (2001) and And Their Refinement of the Decline (2007). Gorgeous stuff.

Last week, Z Nation was filming across the street from helveticka world headquarters. So naturally, I started watching it over the weekend (it’s streaming on Netflix). The show’s…not great. In fact, it’s laughably awful. But that’s just it: It’s so bad it’s good. Plus, Kellita Smith [wolf whistle].

Regardless of whether you choose to spend the weekend reading on the patio, blissing out to ambient drones, or bingeing on some good old-fashioned Zombie evisceration—or (gasp!) all of the above—be sure to pour yourself a glass or three of Dry Hills Distillery’s Bin 7 Wheat Whiskey. Temps will be in the 90s for a while, and you’re gonna want to stay hydrated.

Three for Thursday

Ethan Iverson interviews one of my favorite musicians; the New York Times features one of my favorite authors; the New Atlantis explores one of my favorite TV shows.

It’s a good day.

Summer Reading

There was a time—not too long ago, in fact—when I thought that jazz was a dead art form. (I also thought camera phones were a dumb idea, but that’s another story.) A short stint as a music critic, which meant I was always well-supplied with the latest releases, helped me see that jazz was as vibrant as it’s ever been. I just hadn’t been paying attention.

But it’s a lot of work staying on top of things, even when record labels are sending you free albums. Thankfully, guys like Nate Chinen make it easier. He’s got a new book coming out in mid-August, at the end of which will be a list he’s calling “The 129 Essential Albums of the Twenty-First Century (So Far).” He’s posting that list, a few selections at a time and accompanied by samples, here.

I imagine traditionalists will be a little unhappy with some of Chinen’s choices. Like, say, this one. But as Sonny Rollins says, “Jazz lives on and on and on, folks.” And for that we should be thankful.

I’m Out

Your bloodcurdling, horrific, spine-tingling news of the day: “Spiders can physically detect electrostatic changes in their surroundings.” They “prepare for flight [emphasis mine] by raising their front legs into the wind, presumably to test how strong it is,” and use Earth’s electric field to launch themselves into the air.

How far? you ask. Oh, you know, only as far as two-and-a-half miles into the troposphere and 1,000 miles out to sea.

So, basically, this is a documentary:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ou7WQPN2dbU

USA! USA! USA!

Last year, the missus and I spent Independence Day with the good folks of Rachel, Nevada, at the Little A’Le’Inn. After getting directions to Area 51’s Back Gate, we were treated to a complimentary barbecue, lots of booze, a water fight, a participatory fireworks show, and a free place to set up camp for the night. And an invitation to come back in November to join everyone for Thanksgiving dinner.

This year? We fired an eighty-year-old homemade cannon across the waters of Lake Pend Oreille.

Oh, sure, there was family, food, beer, boating, and fireworks. But just look at that blast, would you? #murica

Today in History

In the following dispatch to the New York Times, Samuel Wilkeson gives an account of the “Confederate bombardment” at Gettysburg, July 3, 1863—probably the largest artillery bombardment of the entire Civil War. He wrote it beside the body of his son, killed in battle the previous day:

Who can write the history of a battle whose eyes are immovably fastened upon a central figure of transcendingly [sic] absorbing interest—the dead body of an oldest born, crushed by a shell in a position where a battery should never have been sent, and abandoned to death in a building where surgeons dared not to stay?…

For such details as I have the heart for. The battle commenced at daylight, on the side of the horseshoe position, exactly opposite to that which Ewell had sworn to crush through. Musketry preceded the rising of the sun. A thick wood veiled this fight, but out of the leafy darkness arose the smoke and the surging and swelling of the fire.…

Suddenly, and about ten in the forenoon, the firing on the east side and everywhere about our lines ceased. A silence of deep sleep fell upon the field of battle. Our army cooked, ate and slumbered. The rebel army moved 120 guns to the west, and massed there Longstreet’s corps and Hill’s corps to hurl them upon the really weakest point of our entire position.

Eleven o’clock—twelve o’clock—one o’clock. In the shadow cast by the tiny farmhouse, sixteen by twenty, where General Meade had made his headquarters, lay wearied staff officers and tired reporters. There was not wanting to the peacefulness of the scene the singing of a bird, which had a nest in a peach tree within the tiny yard of the whitewashed cottage. In the midst of its warbling a shell screamed over the house, instantly followed by another and another, and in a moment the air was full of the most complete artillery prelude to an infantry battle that was ever exhibited. Every size and form of shell known to British and to American gunnery shrieked, moaned, whirled, whistled, and wrathfully fluttered over our ground.…Through the midst of the storm of screaming and exploding shells an ambulance, driven by its frenzied conductor at full speed, presented to all of us the marvellous [sic] spectacle of a horse going rapidly on three legs. A hinder one had been shot off at the hock.…During this fire the houses at twenty and thirty feet distant were receiving their death, and soldiers in Federal blue were torn to pieces in the road and died with the peculiar yells that blend the extorted cry of pain with horror and despair. Not an orderly, not an ambulance, not a straggler was to be seen upon the plain swept by this tempest of orchestral death thirty minutes after it commenced.

Man, Oh Manischewitz

Over at the Hedgehog Review (NB: sadly, they don’t actually review hedgehogs), Steve Lagerfeld assesses the rise of the contrarian crowd—then utterly eviscerates the democratization of outsiderness:

Much of what social critics decry as rampant individualism in contemporary America is really rampant crowd behavior. It is herds of people busily declaring that they are not part of the herd. Whether you’re a Satanist or an alt-right activist, you sign up for a total lifestyle package that includes a limited menu of approved ideas, clothing styles, and other badges you can choose from to express your individuality. What you get in return is an intense sense of belonging and identity—we’re all pariahs here! Americans once derived the satisfactions of association from traditional institutions—family, community, church, state, employers, unions. As the hold of these institutions has weakened, we have parceled out our belonging to ideas, images, and ideologies that allow us to feel part of a larger whole. Our commitment to them may not amount to much more than pasting a bumper sticker on the family SUV. Many people weave together an array of looser group identities, becoming Prius-driving vegan Democrats or hoodie-wearing tech libertarians, elaborating their identities with the clothes they buy, the foods they eat, and other badges of affiliation. A tattoo or perhaps a piercing may top off the ensemble, giving it all an overtly outlaw edge. Others opt for the more intense commitment and rewards of belonging to a contrarian crowd. And in recent years, even many casual affiliations have hardened into something more tribal and adversarial. Partisan loyalty, for example, was once a loose form of membership that most people inherited like the family photo albums. Now it is becoming more like a uniform one puts on to signal an array of commitments and defiant self-declarations.

“Banding together is a healthy human impulse,” Lagerfeld concludes. “Banding together in knots of narcissistic fury is not.”

As with most things of cultural significance or sociological import, however, our own Skooch was there first when he blogged in this very space about the mainstreaming of hipsterdom. And that was in August 2017, before it was cool.

Seems About Right

Normally, I wouldn’t just throw a link up here on the blog without some sort of explanation or witty commentary. But this, well…this is different. I’m not even sure what to say, other than here’s what you find when you drain a canal in Amsterdam.

Have a great weekend, y’all.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“From certain angles,” writes Nick Davidson over at Outside magazine, “it looks like we’re hanging over the precipice. Climate change-fueled disasters like monster hurricanes, megafires, and 100-year droughts are becoming ever more frequent. A solar superstorm could wipe out the grid, the New Madrid fault might go at any moment, and, of course, there’s always potential for a zombie flu epidemic.”

Still, in this era in which Everything Is Terrible™, it’s nice to know that some of us are focused on the important things in life. Like, say, how many exclamation marks are required in order to seem genuinely enthusiastic.

All Hail Long-Form Journalism

Years ago, when I was flirting with the rather ridiculous notion of pursuing an MFA in creative writing, I came across the advice of a writer whose work I admired. “You want to learn how to write?” he asked. “Read every back issue of the New Yorker.”

It was not only a lot cheaper than graduate school, he argued—at the time, you could purchase the entire archive on CD-ROM for around $500—but also a far more effective teacher.

Since then, political hackery, artistic predictability, and everything ever written by the criminally unfunny Andy Borowitz have made me doubt the veracity of the claim. But every so often I’m reminded of the magazine’s greatness. This week, it’s “The Obsessive Search for the Tasmanian Tiger,” which you can read here.

I should probably re-up my subscription.

Monday Miscellany

Donald Hall died over the weekend. If you’re unfamiliar with his work, start here.

“Fashions have always come back around again, but now we are living through a kind of Dadaist cut-up of eras, in which brands and companies borrow from, adapt and disrupt any and all time periods; it’s all up for grabs, provided it’s old.” More on hipster nostalgia.

Madness from the American Library Association.

“What little we know for sure about [Jean-Michel] Basquiat can be said simply: An extraordinary painterly sensitivity expressed itself in the person of a young black male, the locus of terror and misgiving in a racist society. That, and rich people love to collect his work.”

“[T]he passing of another milestone on the road to true AI….”? Yawn.

Still a Tonic for Our Times

To anyone who knows her, it should come as no surprise that Courtney is responsible for sending me this link to all things Mister Rogers. She thought I’d dig the “guide to talking to children,” which features some of the rules for the show’s writers.

Truth is, the entire thing is worth reading and thinking about. (And be sure to watch the linked videos. With a hanky nearby, preferably.)

There’s only one thing I disagree with, and that’s the opening sentence: “The world could really use Fred Rogers right now.” But the world has always needed Fred Rogers, because the world has always been pretty stupid. Or, as the man himself put it somewhat more delicately, “not always a kind place.”

I suppose there are a couple of reasons I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. The show debuted when I was about eight months old—so I pretty much grew up with it—and I had a childhood that, well…let’s just say it needed help building the “solid emotional foundations and the ability to cope with life’s problems” that Rogers was shooting for.

“When I was a child,” writes Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians,  “I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.” That’s all well and good, of course, but, as you eventually learn when you become a man—or a woman—Truth is Truth, no matter how old you are. Mister Rogers believed it, lived it, and spoke it. And I’m betting I could still learn a thing or two from him today.

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