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Quote/Recipe of the Week

“Gratus animus est una virtus non solum maxima, sed etiam mater virtutum omnium reliquarum.” (Cicero, from Oratio Pro Cnæo Plancio, XXXIII.)

My Latin’s a little rusty, so I checked with CK. He tells me that what Cicero is essentially saying is that “a thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.”

With that in mind, here’s something to be thankful for, from Neal Dewing:*

Cranberry Old-Fashioned

The Old-Fashioned is my standby cocktail. When I don’t know what I want to drink, it usually turns out I want an Old-Fashioned. It’s sweet, flavorful, and has bourbon in it. Can it possibly be improved? No, but it can certainly be tailored to an occasion. Many recipes call for muddled cherry and orange (n.b., purists eschew both), but this Thanksgiving version departs from that for an interesting and refreshing tipple. Enjoy it while watching the game, or use a round to short-circuit an argument by way of an impromptu toast. You’ll need:

•  8 fresh cranberries
•  1 strip of orange zest
•  2 tsp sugar
•  2–3 dashes Angostura bitters
•  2 oz of your favorite bourbon

In an Old-Fashioned glass, add sugar, cranberries, and orange zest. Saturate with a few dashes of the bitters. Add a splash of flat water and muddle until the sugar is entirely dissolved. There may be some grit in the glass, but as with the example of your family my suggestion is to live with it. Add your bourbon. Fill your glass with ice.

I wouldn’t use too fine a bourbon for this, but if you determine that you need an extra bit of assistance coping with all the togetherness and love you might try a slug of Booker’s, a cask-strength 128-proof.

Those familiar with the common version of the drink will note the use of orange zest instead of a slice of fruit. This imparts subtle citrus flavor but does not add sweetness or liquid to the mix. Zesting can be a chore, but in this case it is well worth it.

The cranberries impart a vivid red color to the drink, quite unlike the standard. They also give the cocktail a surprisingly mild tartness, much less of a bite than I expected. Less sugar might give it a sharpness of tongue to complement the most disapproving of clan matriarchs.

Add ice, to your taste—a single large chunk is best, as the more diluted this drink becomes the less enjoyable it will be. I don’t usually let them sit long enough for this to be a factor.

Thanksgiving is the one day of the year when we take the time to remind ourselves of the many reasons we have to be grateful. If you’re anything like me, at some point during the dinner you’ll look around at all the people gathered there with you—even the difficult ones—and send up quiet thanks for the privilege we have to love, and be loved.

*I extracted this from a longer article published back in 2013. Neal’s political writing will likely alienate a sizable chunk of tyblography’s audience, so I’m sparing y’all some discomfort. If you’d like to read the entire thing, it’s here. Otherwise, just enjoy a mighty fine cocktail.

1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13…

In honor of Fibonacci Day, I asked CK if he’d mind employing the famous mathematician’s namesake sequence to determine my rate of pay from one year to the next. After all, trying to figure out whether I’ve actually earned a raise is a fairly subjective exercise, and relying on cost-of-living indices seems a bit arbitrary. Pretty sure he’ll be on board. Because science.

In the mean time, you can celebrate the holiday by exploring the “Mathematical Magic of the Fibonacci Numbers” here. (The section on Pascal’s Triangle is particularly riveting.) Math not really your thing? Learn how to compose a Fib. Or just kick back, crack open a cold one, and stare at this.

Does this post make me look cynical?

The Center for Public Integrity released the results of its 2015 State Integrity Investigation, which uses “extensive research to grade the states based on the laws and systems they have in place to deter corruption.” What they found isn’t pretty.

It’s not all bad, I suppose: our fair state ranked 12th. But then again, we only managed to score a D+.

“The comprehensive probe,” writes Nicholas Kusnetz in a related story, “found that in state after state, open records laws are laced with exemptions and part-time legislators and agency officials engage in glaring conflicts of interests and cozy relationships with lobbyists. Meanwhile, feckless, understaffed watchdogs struggle to enforce laws as porous as honeycombs.”

Think your particular brand of politics is immune from such fecklessness? You’ll search in vain for evidence that one side or the other is a better exemplar of good governance. Which can only mean that all politicians are terrible people. Q.E.D.

Pre-Thanksgiving Thankfulness

There are at least two reasons for my success as a professional writer. (And by “success” I mean my ability to convince CK to give me a check every couple of weeks in exchange for a bunch of words.)

The first is Pomeroy High School, where I learned the lost art of diagramming sentences (thanks, Mrs. Cox!) and to be much more painstaking in selecting the right word for the right occasion (thanks, Mr. Miller!).

The second? Reading National Review, which celebrates its 60th anniversary today. Regardless of your political leanings, it’s hard to argue against the quality of writing in its pages. While it’s been argued that the best education in the written word can be found at a fraction of the cost of your typical MFA by simply reading back issues of The New Yorker, I submit that an even better education can be had reading a single issue of William F. Buckley, Jr.’s magazine—particularly when he was still on the masthead.

National Review, wrote Buckley on November 19, 1955, “stands athwart history, yelling Stop, at a time when no one is inclined to do so, or to have much patience with those who so urge it.”

So should we all, it seems.

Molecular Scissors!

Here at helveticka world headquarters, there are two types of people. First, there are the younguns, to whom any new technology/paradigm/idea is inherently good and noble, holding the promise of untold benefits and opportunities and yielding a near endless supply of rainbows and unicorns. Then there are the rest of us, to whom life has been cruel and merciless.

Though I’m in the latter group (and thus an object of scorn, derision, and mockery to Courtney and Morgan), I have to say that this story gives me—dare I say—hope for the future. It’s good to live in the 21st Century.

Word of the Day

Floccinaucinihilipilification (noun) The action or practice of estimating something as worthless.

When asked to provide the client with a ballpark number for Aaron’s writing and editing services, Morgan rolled her eyes and sighed. “Another exercise in floccinaucinihilipilification,” she said to herself.

Writing vs. Grammar

From Clear and Simple as the Truth, by Francis-Noël Thomas and Mark Turner:

The teaching of writing in America is almost entirely controlled by the view that teaching writing is teaching verbal skills—from the placing of commas to the ordering of paragraphs. This has generated a tremendous industry, but the effect of this teaching is dubious. Why is American prose as bad as it is, even though we have more writing programs than ever?

Our answer is that writing is an intellectual activity, not a bundle of skills. Writing proceeds from thinking. To achieve good prose styles, writers must work through intellectual issues, not merely acquire mechanical techniques.…

It’s a great reminder. Good grammar is about learning and mastering rules; good writing, on the other hand, is a whole nother thing altogether.

Happy Veterans Day

From the diary of Virginia Woolf, November 11, 1918:

Twenty-five minutes ago the guns went off, announcing peace. A siren hooted on the river. They are hooting still. A few people ran to look out of windows. The rooks wheeled round, and wore for a moment the symbolic look of creatures performing some ceremony, partly of thanksgiving, partly of valediction over the grave. A very cloudy still day, the smoke toppling over heavily towards the east; and that too wearing for a moment a look of something floating, waving, drooping. So far neither bells nor flags, but the wailing of sirens and intermittent guns.

Metals Fab Unplugged

There’s something exciting about working inside a big, industrial manufacturing facility like Metals Fab. Huge I-beams moving about, lots of welding masks with sparks flying nearby, the sounds of steel being punched and bent, cranes moving overhead, and radios blaring everywhere—each tuned to a different station—while the smell of spent welding rods hangs in the air. You’ve gotta love the rich patina, textures, and sheer scale of this place. A visual delight everywhere you turn.

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Teaming up with the production house ILF Media, we recently completed shooting for Metals Fab’s upcoming 50th anniversary video. Founded in 1966, the company has grown from one man working in his garage to 145 talented employees operating inside 122,000 square feet of production space on 23 acres. That’s some serious growth, man.

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

So last week was kind of a big deal for us. Monday was our 1,000th blog post—a feat that took five years of hard work and determination. Well…it took five years, anyway.

To celebrate, we commissioned five original works from David Rowles, pharmaceutical company production supervisor, Spokane Chess Club Champion, and professional cartoonist for the Journal of Business. And we paid him handsomely, too: $51 per cartoon.

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Why $51? Because the Journal pays him $50—and that’s just how we roll. Problem is, the giant check (great idea, Courtney) didn’t quite fit in Dave’s wallet.

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So the joke’s on him, I guess.

Our First Rated-R Post!

What do you do for a living? It’s a pretty simple question—unless you work in the creative field. Trust me, even our closest friends and family members furrow their brows when we try to explain it. For his final contribution to our week-long celebration (we hit 1,000 blog posts on Monday, in case you’re late to the party), cartoonist David Rowles takes that idea a step further. Too far? Nah.

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Pretty sure we’ve all been in that meeting…

In his penultimate contribution to our week-long blog Bacchanalia, professional cartoonist and 1990 Spokane Chess Club champion David Rowles reveals one of the pitfalls awaiting every graphic designer.

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Everyone’s a Critic

Cartoonist David Rowles has provided us with five original works to help celebrate our 1,000th blog post this week. Today’s cartoon touches on the sometimes-delicate relationship between designer and client.

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Meanwhile, at stately helveticka headquarters…

In his second installment as guest blogger—and post number 1,001, in case you missed last week’s nail-biting lead-up—professional cartoonist David Rowles exposes the gap between perception and reality. Or something.

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Our 1,000th Post!

I’d like to thank my parents, who believed in me before I had the courage to believe in myself. And, of course, to our readers, whose support has never waned—even when Shirlee “contributed.” Finally, I’d like to thank our guest blogger, professional cartoonist David Rowles, who has kindly agreed to mark this momentous occasion by making fun of our profession for the rest of the week.

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